It has been a little while since I posted on here but I wanted to pop up just to say Happy New Year’s to you all. Despite my written silence, I have been thinking a lot about the world and this life we can only continue to endure… and despite all the shit that has coloured our daily lives over the last 600 days, I am so happy that time continues to push us forwards even if sometimes we struggle to.
I am not feeling entirely optimistic in this moment, but I am definitely hear, alive and somewhat well, ready to get winded by whatever 2022 has to offer. I have heard some people say that “we are out of covid” and I don’t quite see that. I still feel separated from my peers as no matter how hard I try; my present actions are still heavily dictated by the case numbers that are updated every day.
I can’t say I am quite in the same level of celebration as I have been in the past
After a year and a half out of work, in September I finally found myself in a dance studio putting on my ballet shoes, getting ready to teach again. And what I thought was a relaxing Christmas holiday, has only given me more anxiety and doubt about whether or not it is safe for me to go back to work. But even within that, I look back to my new memories of the last 6 months and for a second, I feel like myself again. And I hate the idea of having to possibly give it up.
What I am trying to say is that, if you are a realist and walking into this new year with doubt and fear, I think that is okay. There is too much publicity around new years and the need to be happy and excited for this next turning-point. It’s okay to look forward to the next year without blindfolding yourself to all the horrors that still exist and the baggage that you inevitably carry with you into the new era.
Because whatever is said, the new year doesn’t make you forget the past one and it isn’t immune to the harsher realities of our present power dynamics. So, there is no need to glorify that one night in the year or turn it into this moment of epic-ness that you will theoretically remember forever.
It’s just a day on our calendars.
I was happy to spend my new years with my loving partner and the sound of my purring cats in the background with a glass of champagne to make us giggle a little more. I am happy, still covid-19 negative, hopeful for the possibilities of life and really happy to have the opportunity to come on here and talk to someone or no one as my little release.
I am grateful for all of that.
And I am happy for whatever you did that put a smile on your face last night and today.
as long as it wasn’t clubbing with 500 other strangers because come on… have you seen the number of cases… literally basically everywhere…
I’m being positive but I’m still me…
Anyway, happy turning point or happy 31st of December if you don’t give a shit and are probably right to do so.
I don’t like New Year’s resolution because I always forget mine by January 7th. So, I usually just make a wish. Something low stakes! Whatever you hope to be surprised with in 2022.
Do you have a wish for this year?
I am hoping to have to cook less meals at home. I miss restaurants.
Let me know if you have a wish for 2022.
Ballistic xx
Haha it will! New things coming soon!!